38 Weeks Pregnant

38 weeks. That's how pregnant I am. I have 2 weeks until my estimated due date and even if I go overdue will have my baby in my arms at some point within the next 4 weeks. I'm trying not to focus too much on my actual due date, although I'm sure that once it gets here I won't be able to help wondering if that day, and every subsequent day, will be the day.
I had one of my most fed up days yesterday. It wasn't so much being fed up of being pregnant, I'm more than happy to wait until baby is ready to make their own appearance, but I just couldn't bring myself to do anything. I laid on the sofa in silence. I couldn't even be bothered to turn the TV on. I had loads I wanted to get done but just couldn't be arsed to do any of it, and yet I was dying of boredom. I knew if I just got up and got on I would have been happier, but, nope, I stayed put until Mr Riley rang to say he had finished work. I had a bit of a soppy cry in the afternoon, over nothing in particular, but if felt good to let it out. I don't think I've been too hormonal during pregnancy (although Mr Riley might have a different view on that!). I've had the odd day, but have mainly maintained my rationality.
My low day yesterday made me think about how important support is during pregnancy, and I don't just mean midwifery support, although mine has been excellent. No, I'm talking about the other kind of support... the hugs, the understanding, someone to ask stupid questions of, and just the people you feel comfortable to be around.
I've found mine in a variety of places, some I expected and some I didn't. Family has been the biggest one for me. My husband, my parents and my in-laws have all been brilliant. I have also been really lucky with work. I changed jobs at 30 weeks pregnant, and both teams that I have worked with throughout my pregnancy have been lovely. I can't imagine how difficult it could have been if they had been less supportive. I should also give a big shout out to my favourite Sheffield ladies... the Seven Hills Women's Institute girls. It really is an amazing group to be part of, from finding sensible answers to my stupid pregnancy questions from SHWI mums or mums-to-be, to just being able to spend time with the friends I've made over the last 3 years or so has been wonderful.
I joined the September 2013 Birth Club on BabyCentre. On the site you can sign up to your 'due date' month so you can chat to women who are about the same amount pregnant as you. I've never been much of an internet forum user, but actually it has been really useful. Don't get me wrong, some of the discussion threads have some, er, interesting views, but you can certainly pick out the useful advice amongst them. It has really proved to be a hugely supportive forum, despite its anonymity, and I think a lot of the women have found much needed strength through it.
Twitter has also been pretty fab, and a few September due date mums have found each other on there and will no doubt be keeping each other company during night feeds. In fact, just last night I was kept company whilst I couldn't sleep by some fellow uncomfortably-pregnant tweeters!
And cake. Baking turned my mood around yesterday. I made Raspberry and Apple Crumble Squares yesterday. They cheered me right up!
In fact... I'm going to have one with a cup of tea right now.

Full Term

Two milestones have been achieved today. Firstly, I am officially 'full term' at 37 weeks pregnant, so baby really could arrive any day (although I would be very surprised if this happens before my due date of the 22nd of September. In fact, my money is on October the 2nd).

The other milestone is that it is September, which will make baby one of the oldest in their school year as opposed to one of the youngest. Whilst in the long run I'm sure this doesn't make too much of a difference, in those early years the difference between a 4 and a 5 year old can be quite substantial, so really I'm happy bubs has held on this long. Mind you, Mr Riley thinks that our little one will come out fluent in 3 languages and wearing a smoking jacket, so we probably shouldn't worry about intelligence, right?

I haven't written much about pregnancy. I hated it to start with. I felt rubbish up until 22-23 weeks, but once I started feeling, and especially seeing, baby wriggle about I started to enjoy it much more. At this point, I'm getting pretty achey. My legs and pelvis take longer each day to ease off once I get out of bed, I have an incredibly sore rib that is tender to touch and uncomfortable no matter what position I am in, and some of baby's movements really take my breath away now. Braxton Hicks contractions are becoming more noticeable, but they are painless and I try to take the opportunity when I do notice them to really think about my breathing until they have eased off. I figured it's good practice for the real thing.

I'm still working, and haven't yet decided exactly when I'm going to finish. I'm down to 3 day weeks, which are lovely and the right balance for me. By the end of the 3rd day I'm ready for a rest, but I get bored at home if I'm left to my own devices for too long.

The strangest thing for me in this latter half of pregnancy has been the occasional bouts of anxiety that I've felt when leaving the house and having to be around other people. Sometimes I'll have really lovely conversations with people (at work, friends, complete strangers) about whether it's my first, am I excited, have I thought about names and so on. I have, however, also discovered there are a lot of things that people say that make me want to stay in the house and not leave until after baby is born, at which point I'm sure there will be a whole bunch of new things people will say that will annoy me!

So, here's my handy 'don't say this to pregnant people' guide:

1) Don't comment on the size of the bump
If you tell someone they're small or neat, you might think that you're being really nice. But a lot of mums-to-be have told me that this has made them really worry that their baby isn't growing properly.
I, however, haven't had this problem. Since before I was even 12 weeks pregnant, people have been telling me how big I am. It has made me incredibly self conscious about myself and I have cried many a tear. Yes, I am sure I'm not having twins, thank you very much. Yes, I am sure I still have 3 weeks (or 6 weeks, or 9 weeks) to go. No, having a big bump does not necessarily mean that I'm having a big baby, nor does it mean that I won't get to my due date. I have really, really, REALLY, hated these types of comments.
If you have to comment on what someone looks like, tell them they look well. Or even that their bump is lovely. You don't have to mention the size at all.

2) Keep your horror birth stories to yourself
I've not actually had too much of this, thankfully. It is not that I am completely avoiding the thought that labour is going to be incredibly hard and pretty damn painful but I actually feel pretty relaxed about the whole thing. I'm not scared. I genuinely believe that this attitude will help me out as the more scared I am the more likely I will find it difficult to cope. Squillions of women have managed to give birth before, and most of them without the support that I will have down at Jessop's. My body is designed to do this, and each contraction felt will be one less to go until we meet our baby.
Obviously, I might change my mind when it gets going, but I don't need your stories on how horrific labour is beforehand.
There are also women who are genuinely terrified about giving birth, and this kind of story is not going to help them.

3) How hard it's going to be
Similarly to number 2, this is about people telling you how hard life after baby arrives is going to be. We've had it with the dogs... oh, how are you going to cope with 2 dogs and a baby? Well, we'll follow the advice on how to introduce them to the kid, keep an eye on the dogs' behaviour and then get on with it. Our dogs have been around children of all ages, from really new babies to teenagers and we have never had a problem. Obviously they won't be left unsupervised, and we'll train the dogs how to behave around the kid, but we'll also train the kid how to behave around the dogs. Having said that, Levi is chief babysitter...
Other pregnant friends of mine have told me that they also get this about having a new baby and a toddler, or the sleepless nights, or a variety of different things. The thing is, we know. We know this is not going to be easy. In fact, we know that this is probably going to be one of the hardest things that we have ever done. And it's ok to talk about it... it's fine to give advice on establishing breastfeeding, for example, or tips to settle a new baby in a moses basket instead of on your chest, but don't just go on and on (and on) about how difficult life is going to be.

4) "How are you coping in the heat?"
You will be about the 20th person to ask THAT DAY. I'm Scottish. I never cope well in the heat.

5) For 2nd time ( or more) mums
ANY comment about the gender of the baby. 'Oh, you must be thrilled to be having one of each', or 'Oh, you've had another boy, will you keep trying for a girl', or any hint that you might love your baby less because of the gender. Really? People think that might happen? What a stupid thing to say!

6) "Was it planned?"
"Is that any of your business?"
Or, even more strangely, "Are you happy about it?". Even if we weren't, we'd probably not want to talk about it to someone we weren't really close to. And would you really want to hear the answer to be 'no'? What would you do then?
I think people who say that probably mean "Are you excited?", and expect either a 'yes' or a 'I'm pretty nervous really'.

7) DON'T TOUCH THE BUMP
Unless you're invited. Think about how you'd like it if someone came up and stroked your belly, or even your face without being invited. Not very comfortable, I imagine.

So, that's it I think. There are probably loads of things that pregnant women have hated. Despite what I have said here, we do like to talk about our pregnancies, but generally the nice bits, or possibly to have a bit of a moan about the uncomfortable bits.

Now that I've reached due date month, I don't want to wish away these last few weeks. When baby arrives, I'll have to share, but for the time being bubs is ALL mine.

Here is my 37 week bump. I know, it's huge, isn't it?!?!?!?